As a parent, I am proud of my children's accomplishments and of them making the right choices. I think I feel like my identity is somehow intertwined in them. I think most Mom's feel that way. I watch them grow, and the time goes by so fast. When they were young, I looked forward to each stage as they got older and grew bigger. But somewhere around the ninth grade, I realize that I only have a few years left with them. A few years to instill in them the important things in life, to develop their character, to send them out into the big, big world. One day, you realize that your job as a parent has changed, and you have to take on a different role...one of letting go and clinging to the promise that God is in control. I've heard it said that being a Mom is like watching your heart walk around outside of your body, and that is so true. My oldest daughter, Jessi, has talked about being a Missionary since she was in 9th grade, and now she' is getting ready to do exactly what she feels God has called her to do.
Here's a note she wrote on Facebook:
At any cost for You my King...
So I was ready. I was ready to devote myself to four years worth of International Ministry Education at the Moody Bible Institute of Chicago. Yeah, I want to be a full time missionary but felt like school was the better option at the time. I put mission work on my to do list and pushed on with school. I felt like getting an education was going to get me on the mission field. I had so many things happen in that time period that made me want to run and to just let myself be consumed by anything other than God's plan for me. What I wanted or thought was good for me was the total opposite of what God wanted for me.
God put a smacking halt on my plans and reminded me that He is bigger then college. He put amazing people in my life who have only confirmed that God's calling me to bigger things and bigger places. Especially a friend who looked me dead in the eyes and said you are called to be a missionary, and you can't learn that in a classroom, you need to go out into the field. HELLO confirmation! And by bigger I mean continents bigger (=
I was sitting in my friend's car the other day and just praising God because He is the one who has it all figured out. All I have to do is just listen and no matter what He is going to take care of me. I haven't been in that place in such a long time. I haven't lost control of my life in a really long time because I always felt like I could let God be God later...but right in that moment I had to be in control of my life. I was so wrong, because being out of control and letting God be in control has led me to South Africa. He has shown me that my passion is for the least of these...and I will get to college eventually but right now my heart belongs in the Mission Field.
There is a fire in my bones uncontainable and it's causing me to burn, causing me to burn for you...
To my Mom, Jackie, Nate, Cierra, Marc, and Anna...thank you. I love you, God has used you for so much in my life the last few months and you are truly a blessing
You can follow Jessi, Marc, Cierra and Nate at "South Africa Support" on Facebook