Day 2

 Day 2

 Let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness...

So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that's coming when Jesus arrives. Don't lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing... You didn't know any better then; you do now... 

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God...

Now that you've cleaned up your lives by following the truth, love one another as if your lives depended on it....

(Highlights from The Message 1 Peter 1: 13-25)

I have just been staring at a blank screen... there's so much that can be said, yet the words are sometimes hard to get out onto paper. I think it's interesting that I feel like I have to have every sentence make perfect grammatical sense, my left brain fighting with my right brain. At times it's easier to just list the words that express my thoughts and feelings, and other times things have to be drawn out in long form. I think for the next several days, I will post some of my thoughts as they come to me... stay tuned, respond as you feel prompted.

Day 1

 I find it interesting that dysfunctional people always blame others for everything that goes wrong. They are masters at manipulating a situation so that they look innocent. They are unwilling to change because... it's not their fault. They are probably the most self centered people I know. I watch them push others away without realizing they are pushing others away.
I guess that's why they are dysfunctional.
I wonder if this is how God feels about us?
I sometimes feel like there is this barrier that we all remain under.
If we could just break through, we would see that the world is just not what we think it is.
It's so different.
The things we place value on hold no value in the grand scheme of things.

Every now and then, I get a little glimpse.

A little glimpse of being closer to God, and viewing the world through His eyes.

It's amazing.

This is all I've got to say....

Sometimes a song just says it all.....

Time to Think....

I have been knee deep in work and school these last few months. I decided after 18 years in the health care industry to return to school....

Why??

Have I lost my mind? 

YES!

Wife, Mother to 4, full -time NICU nurse, of course I've lost my mind, but it was gone long before I returned to school.

 I often look at my "high functioning" friends. They are "high functioning" because these women balance many things and succeed. These are the leaders, the mentors, the innovators in my industry. It's awesome to be part of a profession that allows women, especially mothers to excel. I have to laugh at how we do it sometimes. I often have the choice to call into a meeting from home. This is great because it keeps me home with my kids, and I am able to participate in important meetings. 

Let me pause for a moment:

 Have you ever tried to have a professional conference call with screaming kids in the background? 

I have to do the double barricade technique.... I lock the bedroom door and then lock myself into the bathroom located in the bedroom. This normal works, it takes them a little while to figure out where I am and then a little longer to bust down the doors.

At times I hear alarming sounds and have to check on them. It's a lot like going into battle, here's the plan:

First step: MUTE THE PHONE

Second step: ENTER BATTLE ZONE (watch for flying debris)

Third Step: MAKE SURE NO ONE IS UNCONSCIOUS OR BLEEDING

Fourth Step: AVOID (questions like: "When is dinner, we're HUNGRY!")

Fifth Step: RETURN TO BARRICADE (hope no one follows and you can pick up on the conversation at hand with the "grown ups" at work, oh, and add something intelligent to the conversation).

Amidst the chaos 

is a common goal of providing care to human beings in a compassionate, loving way. 

That's why we do what we do. 

We sacrifice, we give. 

We're role models to our families and friends. 

We better ourselves with education and training.

That's why I'm a nurse.

That's why I'm going back to school, so I can be the best nurse that I can be.

Me & some of my "high functioning" nurse friends

Ever feel like  a song was  written about  you? Here's one for me. I didn't think Pink was my color.....

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that's alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than , less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You are perfect to me!